Never Hesitate To Pause

Warming the Hands Over the Global Financial Meltdown

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 09:29:43 -0800

So much time has gone by since I've written on Ekaweeka-! It's more than time for the November update.
Since we spoke last,
I've wrapped up all of the garden and outdoor activities, and am still trying to get my cold-frame put up for winter, but am too lazy to get out in the cold and finish it up.
Mainly, a lot of the last month was spent composing music. I had no sooner finished an lp's-worth of material in Sept/Oct, than I decided to do a brand-new Christmas Lp for 2008, which meant starting on it/ finishing it ASAP, in order to get early DJ-copies out in time for someone to hopefully PLAY cuts from it.
Well, that thing came out really well. A nice load of new music.
Am still ordering TONS of DVDs and books from the inter-library loan system. It is really quite amazing the things that appear to be in the catalogs. Some of the DVD packages I'm getting are those super-overpriced fancy CRITERION editions of films, with gobs of extras/discs/and even an entire NOVEL, included with the current (and fantastic!) edition of Orson Welles 'Mr. Arkadin' that I have in house.
The LADY BEETLE invasion/migration/plague seems not as heavu as last year--just a few hundred less of the little buggers than we had attacking the house last November.
I need to cut into and prep the pumpkin soon, that I bought for cooking, and have been ignoring on the back porch ever since. It'll be TASTY once I get it into a pie and stuff, but this cold weather sure does slow down my drive to work on some stuff...
After avoiding FACEBOOK for a year (the few times that I'd tried to look up people there, it seemed to load very slowly, and it scared me off) I'm now active in there....and what do you know---so are 500 other people I know---so THAT'S where they've been.
I guess I'm not the only one who's only maintaining his MySpace pages as a sort of 'AD with AUDIO' for me...and not so much of a networking area, anymore.
As always, folks, feel free to comment or write--- I don't bite.
Much.

Summer Recap/October Rocktober

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Mon, 6 Oct 2008 09:49:38 -0700

With all of the yard and indoor chores this summer, I had to take a few weeks off from fussing with my many websites; and then the next thing you know----It's been months, and you're scrambling to update and refresh a bunch of pages online.
Briefly, the summer harvests are all in, and now I need to get more done in prep. for my winter gardens.
I had a 47th birthday in September.
I've been recording and writing a huge amount of new music, mostly on the computer, but also doing a lot of live recording and sampling of real instruments for the assembly of my newest lp.
Did some DJ sets this summer, which I'd slowed way down on making. They are a handy way to stretch out and just go wild, and I often discover new song/project ideas while mixing odd elements together for DJ sets. The latest one: "Hillbilly Hardcore Stock Report" (I hate the title) is now available as a lovely 2-cd set, DJ-friendly and ready for broadcast, either online or on radio, as it was made for broadcast, it's timed and designed to be used on the air.

The many tropical storm systems that passed through here this late summer did some heinous damage while I was trying to dry and cure harvested plants---we had some outrageous humidity.
I'm still working the First Search inter-library borrowing system heavily, and have been getting some wild obscurities and goodies from far and wide. Recent scores: a big book about Eiji Tsuburaya, and DVDs as well, Addams Family season 1, Gozilla Raids Again (rare!), Cross Of Iron (Sam Peckinpah), as well as the full five-volume EC reprint series of "Tales From the Crypt", those have been out for 30 years, but I've never been able to afford the Russ Cochran reprint sets, I had never thought of just borrowing them from the library!
I just began to re-read Alan Moore's brilliant "From Hell" graphic novel. Have been looking forward for years to someday going back through this amazing and large work. Architecture, freemasonry, and murder fans should read this book----an impressive take on 'Jack the Ripper' lore.

As always---I'm looking for Portrait and Illustration work, as well as music work and production for clients.

Some new material is creeping out onto my MySpace pages for October (I always have holiday tracks) at
http://www.myspace.com/justspokenword
and
http://www.myspace.com/mindwrecker

and as always, there are regular new pictures and articles at
http://mindwrecker.blogspot.com/

Cheers, and Happy Hallowe'en!

My Online Autobiography

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Wed, 2 Jul 2008 10:05:18 -0700

The autobiography is all finished (at least until I catch more typos and badly-written bits!).
At:
http://mindwrecker.blogspot.com/
Even though it's early for me to be looking backwards, it felt like now was the time to do this lavishly-illustrated piece.
I wanted to create something that I'D be interested in looking at, which made it a challenge.
It was a huge job going through all of the photos, posters, and pieces of art, and photoshopping the lot-- many of them too big to scan in one piece- doubling the workload. And the uploading, writing and then editing took weeks, but I'm pretty happy with the result, a lot of new stories came to mind in the process, which was nice.
Fans of antique photos, arty San Francisco bands, cassette culture, and the '60s through the '80s should enjoy some of the chapters therein.

...........Meanwhile, here on the farm- the rains keep coming, with a new storm just yesterday. Rain in July! I love that- very unusual for central-western Missouri in the summer. My garden is super happy- and I'm super-happy to not have to water it!
The downside- more lawnmowing, lol.

SINISTRALITY

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:55:35 -0700

SINISTRALITY : the preference of LEFT (hand, for instance) over right. Actually I'm pretty nearly ambidexterious, or is it ambidextrose, or ambisexualous...well, it's something like that.
However, I am locked into the left hand for drawing and painting, and the right hand leads when I play music, which is handy because I don't have to use left-handed guitars and such.
I just (FINALLY!) got my tenth garden bed dug, after waiting three weeks or more for the rains to subside enough to dig some more and get some more seed out. Kinda late, but there's already a lot of vegetables growin'. I'm just determined to squeeze a few more in, as I've got seeds and starter trays full all over. Actually, the last starter-tray of stuff just went in yesterday, Yay!
I sold the latest portrait commission that I'd struggled with for so long, which was nice, the customer seemed real happy with it. Now I'm hustling for more work, and may have a nibble already from a band in Kansas City; I gotta call 'em and chat.
The illustrious Nick (Bioflava) Cain, of Pufendorf.org fame, and his brother Max are coming through the area while on the road shooting their documentary:
info at
http://ecoheartland.com/
I'm very interested in their new film project, and look forward to seeing Nick, as I haven't spoken to him in person since he moved from San Francisco to New York in the fall of 2006.
No tornadoes have come through the pasture yet, and I hope that continues.
And
I'm well into uploading the massive AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL BLOG project on my main BlogSpot page
http://mindwrecker.blogspot.com/
and it's got a lot more data yet to go up. I've been busy for weeks now, burning my eyes and brain out, pawing through loads of old family photos, my old pics, posters,diaries, and ephemera, scanning and photoshopping until I nod off at the keyboard. It's a-gonna be awesome, though.
I'll post a note here once it's all done, and the very cool old-timey family pictures are up--they're really fun.
Oh, and my pal in North Carolina got the "Fluffy Jack" scary rabbit head, seen in my gallery below, for her birthday in the mail. That must have been a shock to unwrap when it came unexpectedly in the mail, EEeK!

First Two Tarot Cards Up In Gallery Below

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Thu, 5 Jun 2008 11:54:04 -0700

Although super-busy this month, found time to knock out two test-cards for the TAROT DECK project.
Well, now I know some things I'll do or NOt do for the next ones! They came out just OK, but are published in the EKA-Gallery just the same. I'll do better on the next ones.
Anyone who might be inspired (or uses/used Tarot Packs at some time) to try their hand at this--I encourage it strongly. I may do the next ones even larger, to make the rendering easier, I did these like twice-up in size from the final card-size, but still found it a bit confining.
On the local tip--- It's getting hotter and more humid by the day, very hard to keep busy in the studio or garden, the heat saps the initiative right outta me. I expected it. Still not prepared for the big slowdown in July, where there'll be hours every day when it's too hot to do ANYthing.
Right now, I'm happy to be finishing the first test item in my LONG-delayed series of "mounted animal/insect/etc. heads on plaques". It's painted, the fur is all glued on, only the final trimming and touch-up remains. It is a very scary and bizarre killer rabbit head, of which I'll have photos of soon, here on the Ekapage.

The Playing-Card Project

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Tue, 27 May 2008 07:41:38 -0700

Hmmm- I can't seem to get the "New Topic" feature in the GROUPS area here in Ekawookie to work at all! (I hit "preview", and then there's NO "post" button to save it---the info just keeps disappearing! What's up with that?) SO-
I'll post this info here. It relates to my love for TAROT and PLAYING card art and lore---lets make our own online set-!
Here's the text of the original message to the community--------

A project idea that's been languishing in my sketchbook this year- making my own set of TAROT CARDS, and PLAYING CARDS. As a lifelong scholar of these arts, I recently began to compile a virtual file of Tarot and other cards from the earlies examples in museums and collections, up to the present, in order to wallow in the form, preparatory to doing some actual sets.

Why not do a MULTI-ARTIST set of each? Why not indeed? Let's get busy, Ekamaniacs! Even though i imagine most people would get more of a kick from rendering the Major Arcana, or FACE cards from card sets- I find in my research a lot of very imaginative and cool art done in the past for the NUMBERED suits--- very inspiring. So let's get started. Some examples of cards will be forthcoming here on this Ekapage. Ideas and inspirations from YOU are welcome!

Craptop Crash! Gardening Goes On

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:01:54 -0700

Yup, finally cooked my laptop realy good-like, and had to hand it over to "professional" help. hope I didn't lose all of my data (and the seven newer pieces of music written on it/ and not (stupid, stupid!) backed up yet). That's part of life in the digital domain. Luckily there's usually another darned computer around to use.
Weather warming up sharply, and the small window of time with "pleasant" (for me) spring temp.s is closing; I feel the 80 and 90-plus degree days are very close indeed. After not having experienced a full winter die-out for a long time, having lived in California for 28 years, it's fascinating to watch the transformationof the countryside, as I figure it would be. but it brings so many outdoor carpentry and gardening projects to complete before it gets too hot, and I have to time everything around rainstorms, as the tasks often need dryness- such as digging biointensive garden beds, and painting outdoor lumber and such.
I've started almost too many vegetables (I tried to start small...), but I'll manage to can or eat it all somehow, that is id Bun-Bun and his rabbit pals and the insects don't feast too heavily and just take my crop down. I was hoping the dawgs would chase the rabbits away, but I saw the lepii drooling over my garden yesterday and I think that they're thrilled with the way it's shaping up.
Almost done with the super-detailed portrait drawing, and as it comes down to the crunch of doing the actual likenesses, it gets hairy, as usual.
I'm greatly enjoying finally playing outdoors and singing on the front porch on the regular, natch.
It is hard to get used to the local plague of ticks, though. It always was hard to stomach them when I would come out here to visit, but now being surrounded by them weekly, and having to battle 'em, I hate it. Really a dreadful pest.
Currently reading:
Willie Nelson: An Epic Life (a great big, dry, biography), Some old comfort reading: August Derleth and H. P. Lovecraft posthumous collaborations (I found an old paperback with some more of these- I thought I owned them all...), preparing to read (for the third time) "The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen" Vol 1., just for an Alan Moore fix, have been slowly going through the FOXFIRE books one by one, from the library- love that stuff, and, well, lots more.
And there are current pics of the farm at
mindwrecker.blogspot.com
as usual.

Spring In The Country

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 10:18:35 -0700

Settling back in here on the farm after visiting some of my dear beast friends for two weeks this month in Western NORTH CAROLINA. what a terrific trip! Such beautiful country there. It truly is one of the more beautiful places I've been to in the USA. Did some lovely hiking, camping and playing music and singing. Worked on clearing areas of their newly-acquired and still somewhat overgrown property, and dug some garden beds. Steep mountains! Deep hollers! Hmmmm, I could totally live there, very nice indeed.
Current reading list for April: for the airport I brought "The Golden Apples Of The Sun"/Ray Bradbury, re-reading after probably 30 or so years, and I enjoyed it much more than some of his other work that I'd re-read in the last decade. VERY nice collection of stories, and many of them had no fantasy or SF elements at all, just wonderful little mood/emotion/character pieces. This is the book that reprinted his famous "The Lighthouse" tale (one of the best in the book)which was the nominal source for the cool Ray Harryhausen film "The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms", although the story is an awful lot more moving than the movie!
Also took along: An obligatory ALAN MOORE hardbound comic book collection: "Smax", a very very funny offshoot/sequel to his "Top 10" comic series, from around 2001 or so, it was a bit too soon after the last time I re-read this series, but I'd just gone through all of the TOP 10 stories again and I wanted some graphic novel material for the airplane and airport. I'm a HUGE fan of Alan Moore and enjoy everything of his. Speaking of which- I just re-read "THE WATCHMEN" after more than ten years, and was re-impressed with how well done it was. It has dated well, although I'm sure some of it would probably make Alan cringe, as he grew a lot as a writer since it was first published back in 1986-87. Wow, it was so long ago that I read that novel for the first time, and what an impression it made back then. The mid-to-late '80's was a fantastic time for new style comics.
And lastly from my "travel reading": "LOWLIFE" / Luc Sante. Recommended.
A study of Manhattan from 1840-1919. Once again a re-read. It's huge so I didn't really get through it on this trip and it's currently put aside while I read library books checked-out since I got back:
FOXFIRE volume 2, since my friend in North Carolina had acquired a set of the Foxfire books and as I browsed them I realized that I needed to read a bunch of stuff in them---I'd always kind of ignored them over the years, but no matter, as they fit my life much better NOW, than they would have before.
Also some vintage comic-book reprint indulgences, since I'm a historian of that stuff: "The SPIRIT Archives, vol. 12"/Will Eisner, I have always dug anything Eisner, and bought loads of reprint magazines of his stuff in the 1970's and through the '80's, however I wish that I'd been able to save them all, as DC COMICS did terrible job on these reprint editions! And they have the nerve to brag about the clarity of the new reprints! I remember how sharp and terrific his art looked in the old black-and-white editions that I used to have, and I can't understand why their editions are always so muddy. Such a shame! It's nice to have them all in order and in color and hard cover, but I've seen this over and over with Marvel and DC-- their expensive color reprint books look terrible! All of the fine line definition is gone! There are a few exceptions--I have a very nice two-volume set of JACK KIRBY's "Challengers Of The Unknown" stories (HIGHLY recommended), that DC put out years ago, and those are nice and sharp; but that's the exception. I would love to get more of their books, such as the SPECTRE one--he's so cool, but not if they look like hell.
Also discovered that my library had a book that I almost bought back in San Francisco on two occasions: "The Golden Age Of DC Comics-365 Days" / Les Daniels/Chip Kidd. I've collected a lot of Chip Kidd's comic-book related work over the years, but when I flipped through this in the store, I wasn't impressed; however sitting down and really going through it it is a lot of fun to see such nice reproductions of so many obscure 1937-to-1955 comic book images. I wish now that I had bought one, as I'll want to got through it again sometime...maybe a used one'll turn up. My only caveat on this one- Geoff Spear's photography, usually first-rate, on this project he seems to have only used ONE light fixture to shoot his images by, and there's a shadowy area on almost every shot! I don't understand why he didn't use two sources, like is normally done-- I like the "raking light" effect produced by one strong source (which I think was the idea), but he needed some fill lighting, as there is far too much dark area on many shots--even when they're cropped down heavily! It may have had something to do with the fact they were in DC's cramped vaults and he didn't want to lug too much gear. At least this volume does demonstrate yet AGAIN how much better vintage comic book and newspaper material looks when simply shot from the originals as opposed to the horrid "restorations" that so many companies do, and spoil the look of the artwork entirely.
Can you tell that I'm a geek about this stuff yet-?? LOL
I also read Hunter S. Thompson's "Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas" for the first time, at my friend's house in NC. I had showed them the Terry Gilliam film version, and since she had a copy of the book, I was curious to see how similar they were. Well, good grief, they practically took the text of the novel AS the screenplay! It was one of the closest transfers I've ever seen! Very minimal adaptation. And I loved the book, I'd never gotten around to Thompson's writings yet, and now am an instant fan.

I'm tickled to see spring coming on here in Missouri, they had a lead on us in North Carolina, and thank goodness it's leafing out here nicely now. I just spent several days rebuilding our front screen-porch here, which had been trashed by a wild untrained dawg that my mom had been stuck with temporarily a year and a half ago, he had run through a bunch of screens, plus there was some rotting lumber to replace. Perfect setup---some kind of light carpentry, not too tough, basically a fun project, and completed just in time for some warm porch-sitting weather- yay!
Still too wet to mow the lawn or do much garden work, though. Just as well, in a way, as I still have a portrait-commission to finish up, plus I'm still trying to craft a piece of music that Mr Man in New York will bite on and hopefully use; I did one already, it didn't satisfy, and now I've prepped another one- but it will require many hours of editing to put it together on the laptop, I did some interesting mandolin recording for it, and wrote a couple of nice bass lines, so I hope it'll be swell. Anyhoo-- I have inside-work to get done!
The Ticks are on the march---I got eaten alive while working on the porch out in the front yard. ICK! This is SUCH a drawback with living in Missouri, in this part of the country--the TICK PLAGUE. It's SO much worse than when I grew up here in the 70's. That was ONE nice thing about living in California: I could walk through the grass barefoot and not be attacked by chiggers and ticks and end up looking like a raspberry.
Until next time,
Cheers

Work Faster / Get Deposits

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:36:40 -0700

A lesson learned the hard way: next time get the commissioned portrait art done quicker, and, get a deposit on the piece up front.
I've never had anyone stiff me on a painting commission in years of doing business through Craigslist. But it finally happened.
After waiting for over a month for some word on when these folks were gonna pick up the piece that I'd worked like five weeks on, they finally broke down and 'fessed up that a friend of theirs had "surprised" them with a free gift painting that just happened to be based on the EXACT same photo reference that I'd been given, and that looked a LOT like what I'd done. Except that it was more slavish to the photoshop art that they'd done to illustrate the concept. Being that it was free, and they thought it was awesome, they no longer wanted the painting that I'd worked for many many hours on, generating a full-color rough version of the (which I don't always do for clients) and many revisions.
A bit of a body blow, as it was a higher-ticket painting than some that I do. Well, next time I'll get money up front. It's particularly aggravating for me, as I'm culpable in that it took a couple of weeks longer to finish than I'd wanted due to illness and other factors, and if I could have just gotten it to them a bit sooner, I'd have sold it!
I just waited and waited to hear back from them, though; I wrote a couple of short notes wondering what they were up to and got zero response, until finally a THIRD prompt brought the truth out of 'em. I guess they were hoping that Mr. Artist-guy would just go away and not want to be paid for the cool work he'd done.
Kinda bashes your trust in people in general when someone pulls shit like that. Thanks, folks! I just couldn't believe, as I waited and waited, that someone would really stiff me on a painting that they had said they totally liked, and that it looked great.

Ahhh, feels so much better to publicly vent about it!

Aside from that, things are humming along this spring; a trip to North Carolina for two weeks, coming up soon, my first one there; a music-commission that I'm waiting to hear back about (I just sent them the finished rough song) hoping that I won't be crushed by them not liking it at ALL, and preferring instead that they love it outright, or, at the worst, ask for a bunch of revisions, which, since it's a collaboration, would be par for the course and no big deal.
And there's another portrait commission sitting on the board as well, which I need to hurry up and get done, before someone does the same piece for the client for free!

Four Months Out Of San Francisco

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 08:42:34 -0800

It's still such a strange feeling, the slower pace of life in the country, after the grind to stay ahead of poverty and ruin in San Francisco. I'm very lucky to have someone offering me this room and board until I get on my feet here, and I'm using this excess of free time to make all of the art and music that I possibly can, as these kinds of big blocks of "free" time are not usually bought easily.
I've adjusted more easily than I thought I would to having to give up smoking pot nearly daily, after 27 years and more of regular use. I must say, I was always the most productive pothead that I ever saw. I was afraid that I would lose inspiration to do some of the more tedious and dull art tasks that some of my projects entail; but I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I'm very psyched by the paintings and music pieces that I've been cooking up. And I haven't sunk into deep depression or somesuch, as I feared might occur. I guess life without smokies isn't so very bad. Not that I don't miss 'em sometimes! Particularly when one accidentally plays some kinds of reggae records.
'Have been doing mad amounts of work on the new multi-track recording freeware that I was turned on to by Nick in New York. Basically I have a new album's worth of material already, in barely two months of work. It's been a very happy period, audio-wise. I've also written two new bluegrass/rural style songs since the move, and as usual, rather than writing them in a simple and easy-to-learn way, I made them a bit complex, or at least they have some unconventional changes in them, that are still fun to play, but tricky for me to sing!
Am currently working on my second portrait-commission piece since the big move, and actually, I'm procrastinating on it, considering that it's a black-and-white piece, and color-design problems aren't even part of the issues. It does present some design/layout challenges, though. It will pop up here in the gallery eventually. Speaking of which, I should add the LAST painting done (in January), and not yet picked-up by it's new owner.
I'm probably not spending enough time on the drawing board as I'm too busy working over the hot laptop making crazy new noise/pop songs, one after the other. It is just so much fun to finally be doing fully-digital multitrack after years of making very complex pieces on an eight-track cassette deck, really a jokey piece of gear, and yet, as is typical with me, I can take very modest materials and do very high-quality-seeming work on them. But now the expanded trackspace and quality is allowing a much richer stereo field and deeper, more detailed sound. I had never had the time to master PROTOOLs and other programs while immersed in the hustle of life in the Bay Area, and it's so satisfying now to finally be using a number of complex programs that I hadn't the patience for before.
Not to say, however that I don't still very much value ANALOGUE and very low-tech and dirty styles/sounds/solutions in my music and art. Doing non-linear digital work is great, but it definitely needs to (I think) be balanced with non-computer-based techniques.

Not all terribly fascinating, but an attempt to render what I'm actually doing these days. Too cold still, here in West-Central Missouri, to do a lot of stuff outdoors, so I'm doing a LOT of cooking, and refining my mad pie-making and other skills. Collecting lots old-time recipes and music.
Also doing a TON of mail-art. Sending way too many postcards and packages to people all over the place; in the sense that few of them are going to take the trouble to create cool mails to send back. But I can't help myself, have collected so many awesome antique postcards so far this winter, and have created loads of original cards that beg to be seen by others, so, out they go! The outer envelopes are a chance to utilize my HUGE collection of rubber stamps, many of them antiques and originals, to do excessive stamp art decorating. Sadly, many of my old ink-pads are dried up, and I have to replace/re-ink the darned things. Very glad I kept all of my stamps, though. With a limit of 1000lbs on how much I could move out here, it was doubtful whether they would make the trip. But that collection was too nice to leave behind.
The friend-activity here on Ekawookie has slowed a bit--I guess it's time again to troll through the newer members and see who's coming "in the door" that's interesting, and bother them.
Until next time,
Cheers
Drew

Second chances

mindwreckertv@gmail.com — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:21:50 -0800

THE NEIGHBORS HAVE FINALLY TURNED OFF THE OUTDOOR CHRISTMAS-LIGHTS, and thus, the season officially ends. Rural though it is here, I can still see those twinkly colored lights out my studio window and take comfort in their conspicuous energy consumption.

Aside from trying for hours every day lately to get the latest pet-portrait done (and trying not to let this sort of mean-looking cat in the picture get too mean-looking), I'm surprised and pleased that fate has offered me a second chance at something perhaps tasty and nice. I'll explain:
Once in a while I have a brush with some sort of "fame/larger recognition" or a chance to work with a big-shot or shots; and recently was re-contacted by one of them, who I'd begun to create a project with about two years ago that sounded lovely, but that somehow, for several reasons, I let slip away. Usually though, I must say, these opportunities seem to get away from me, DESPITE my best efforts to hold onto them, while in this case, I sort of let the ball roll away.
Anyhoo, suffice it to say that THIS time, as it's a rare "second-chance" event, to work with someone with more art-world cachet than me, I will work like heck to keep the relationship going. All factors seem to indicate that this is a better time to do this artwork collaboration.

Meanwhile, after three months in my new home, I'm comfortable, as it's the old farmhouse that I've visited many times over the years and loved, and at the same time it is a major adjustment, mentally, physically, spiritually. I'm back in the rural state that I wanted SO to escape from 27 years ago, when the call of life-expansion and exploration were so strong, and I thought that my birth-state of California would be the place I would surely find myself, my wife, and end my days there in debauched bliss.
Indeed, I regret none of my years there, and I actually realized a surprising number of my outrageously ambitious dreams, being in many bands, releasing many recorded audio products, meeting lots of awesome artists and cartoonists and doing tons of varied artwork of my own, generating an enormous catalogue of music and art; hosting my own radio and TV shows; doing film and video work; writing and producing and directing and art-directing plays; getting married, travelling in Europe and Morocco; gee, it all seems like a pretty full agenda.
The coast also offers so many opportunities to achieve a state of bliss through contact with nature, and gosh I went there, too.
But various factors over the last couple of years stripped-away the blissful aspects of life in Cali bit by painful bit, and finally last summer I realized that the place that I'd run from so long ago might actually be a neat place to run back to and slow down, heal, have more time for art and spend less time just hustling to survive.
I also took to heart the fact that William Burroughs, whose work I still enjoy exploring and re-reading so much (as I've been through most of it once already) moved back to Missouri late in life to slow down, live in the country (a life it seemed that I'd never afford in California) and pet his cats.
There was also my mother to bring me back home, she would never leave Missouri, after all; who missed me, and I her, and I owed it to her to be closer by as we both grew older.
Luckily, some of my friends were moving east in a parallel development of our lives; I laugh and think that many of us will look back in ten years and see that in this period there was an "exodus" of creative types from California to parts otherwise cheaper and easier to exist in.
I don't even mind the cold winter weather, heavier than it's been in years. Cranked-up just for my arrival, no doubt, by the powers-that-be.